Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Perico to Calm Kiwi Youth

Perico could become the latest weapon to control intimidating Kiwi youths living in Australia.

Hits from the Brunswick crooners could be played at Ilk Bar in Collingwood to disperse large groups of New Zealand migrants accused of littering, tagging and general disorder.

Ilk Bar manager Lyall Johnson is exploring plans to install speakers in his his bar to play "nice, easy listening" music to calm behaviour. The technique has been used worldwide as a way to make places unattractive to kiwis.

"If we put music through the bar, it would change the environment in some respects. We do not mind kiwis living here, it is just what they do when they are here. If they are aggressive and intimidating, that is a problem," he said.

"If you look at pedestrian flows people do not walk through that area ... It is not about major change, it is about changing the environment slightly."

A device that makes a high-pitched noise that sounds like a ram and that only kiwis can hear has also been used abroad to disperse them, but that was seen as too aggressive.

"It is not very PC and the idea is not to do that to your environment. You can create a nice environment by introducing nice music," said Johnson.

Kiwis gathered in Centrelink yesterday said they would not be deterred by unfashionable music.

Emma Belcher, 16, said they would combat the music with their own. "We would just bring a stereo and play it louder. It would just be a waste of power and that would be bad for the environment," she said.

Shelley McManis, 17, said the plan was laughable. "That would just be funny."

“I do not always like it here in Australia. The atmosphere can sometimes be intimidating and there are fights all the time, but it is a good place to receive welfare payments."

Regular Ilk bar drinkers supported the move as part of plans to target problem spots in the city.

It would also help protect the city's reputation.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Perico Deny Christian Rock Charge

Brunswick band, Perico, have denied rumours that fans are about to see a change in musical direction by moving into the "Christian Rock" scene.

The denial comes despite a leaked set list for this Saturday night's gig, obtained exclusively by this blog, which includes songs with titles such as "The Hill Song" and "Go to Heaven". It's no seceret that Bass player Greggy Ay is known for his fondness of church choirs and that the band have suspiciously stopped playing Sunday morning gigs.

"If we did [switch to Christian Rock], it'd be for profit, not for the prophet" explained God-fearing drummer Col Robertson, who's often seen wearing a "Jesus is my Home Boy" t-shirt.

Singer and guitarist, Tim Gartland, was more emphatic with his denials saying that the only "Churchy" thing that the band would ever consider doing is a cover of "Unguarded Moment" but even that wasn't likely because the vocals were too hard.

Perico play two sets this Saturday night at the Retreat Hotel front bar in Brunswick as part of their Diamond Anniversary celebrations. Amen.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Petrol Prices Won't Keep Fans Away

Skyrocketting petrol prices will not keep patrons away from Perico's next gig, according to leading Brunswick environmentalist and social commentator, Damo Wilding.

Wilding has applauded the latest news from Perico, that they will be "doing their bit" by holding their next gig in Brunswick where patrons are encouraged to walk to, rather than drive.

"It's really just economic sense" he explained. "With the current price of petrol exceeding $1.50 a litre, it's just too expensive for anyone to go anywhere by car anymore."

Perico guitarist Richard Oldfield, who is currently residing in Eltham, is believed to be cycling to the gig next Saturday, but believes that most patrons will opt for 'foot-power' or at the very least use public transport.

"Of course, if you don't live in Brunswick, and you have to drive, we've arranged for free entry next Saturday. That'll help the budget too." he said.

Perico play the Front Bar of the Retreat Hotel this Saturday night from 7.30pm. Entry is free.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Perico Take Clean Sweep at Logies

Perico were upbeat yesterday after missing out on Gold at last weekend's Logies awards. Having received nominations for both the "Most Popular Band Never to Agree to be on Noise TV" and the "Most Stunningly Dressed Performers" category, the Brunswick rockers neverthless made the most of their forged invitations, sucking in all the attention and stuffing themselves full of food.

"Sure, we were disappointed not to win a Logie" explained Greggy Ay, "but really, we were all winners. We didn't pay for a single drink all night. That's better treatment than we even get from the Noise Bar."

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Perico Disrupts Torch Relay

Radical human rights band, Perico, were yesterday caught up in the controversial Olympic torch relay protests after Rolling Stone Journalist, Damo Wilding, misheard Perico drummer Col's support for free bets, as support for Tibet.

"Not that I don't support a free Tibet" he declared. "But a free bet is really something to savour."

Pressed on the issue, Col admitted that he was partial to an economic boycott of China.

"I don't think I'll buy Chinese goods anymore - I'll just restrict myself to Italian shoes from now on."

Perico members ran an alternative torch relay on the weekend through the streets of Brunswick to co-incide with ANZAC Day.

"We kept the flame going all through the weekend." explained Greggy A, "which was kinda handy when I couldn't find my lighter."

Perico play the Noise Bar this Saturday night.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Guitarist in Shock Wedding Announcement

Former Perico playboy and current guitarist Richard "Richo" Oldfield, last week announced the impending nuptials with Japanese hearthrob Aki. The news sent shockwaves through Brunswick as various pubs and bars began jockeying for the right to host the big event.

Local sushi bar owner Pauline Thwat, said that she expected the wedding to be a lavish affair and told pericoloco that she would be ecstatic to be selected as caterer, but knew that "competetion for this will be as vicious as one of those circle things".

Victorian state Treasurer, John Lenders expected that the wedding would provide a boost to the state similar to the Grand Prix's contribution to state finances and culture.

Richo joins a long list of famous musicians to marry Japanese women, including John Lennon Jimmy Barnes and Sugizo, although the last bloke is actually Japanese so that's not really surprising.

To celebrate, Perico will perform this Sunday afternoon at the Brunswick Green from 5pm in the official Engagement Party.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Perico in Santa City Dress-Up

With loud guffaws of "perico-ho-ho", that zany group of Brunswick musicians, Perico, took to the streets yesterday, delivering Christmas cheer to all and sundry, dressed in Santa costumes.

"It's really great to be able to walk around the city streets without being recognised and harassed." explained Santa Gartland.

"We were just ignored by everyone. I guess that at this time of the year we just blended in with everyone else."

Perico, who yesterday performed such wacky versions of popular Christmas Carols as "Violent Night" a song about hanging out in Queen Street on a Saturday evening, vowed to steer clear of such renditions at their Saturday evening performance at the Retreat.

"We might sing 'Jingle Bells, Richo smells' , though" said Col.

Perico play at the Retreat Hotel from 7pm on saturday 22 December 2007